Are you struggling with sex and intimacy during this hard time?
Does sex feel like a chore or something that you have no energy and time for?
Whether you are single, quarantined with your partner 24/7, or you are separated from your partner... this time has really put intimacy and connection to the test.
With intense stress and uncertainty, sex and intimacy may not be at the top of your to do list.
Even in this time, you deserve to feel pleasure and connection!
There Is Hope
Imagine feeling reconnected to yourself and/or your partner.
Imagine igniting that spark again and feeling desire for sex and intimacy.
Imagine feeling comfortable to use sex as a way to reduce stress and live in your body.
Imagine knowing that you will be able to make it through this hard time with connection and pleasure intact.
How I Can Help
I am currently working with many clients on keeping intimacy and sex alive during the times of COVID-19.
By talking about your needs and wants while also brainstorming ways to make time for intimacy and sex, you can bring back those feelings of desire and pleasure.
I would love to chat with you and see if we can work together on helping you achieve your own pleasure and satisfaction.
If you are interested please click the button below and fill out my contact form. I will be in touch with you soon to set up your Free 15-minute video consultation!
Sex and intimacy have become topics to avoid.
Maybe they were never something you felt comfortable discussing or participating in to begin with.
Sex might feel like a chore that is constantly put at the bottom of the to-do list, with very little desire to try to get it back to the top.
Sex may feel painful and hopeless.
You may be feeling discouraged about the current state of your sex life and have no idea what to do about it.
You begin to think to yourself, “I can have relationships without sex, right? It’s not that important is it? I can just live my life without it, right?”
Well, I am here to tell that regardless of your relationship status or identities (even for those of you who identify as asexual and are navigating that in your relationships), sex is an important and vital part of life and relationships.
Reasons Why People Seek Sex Therapy
The thought of trying to have sex with your current partner, a new partner, or maybe even yourself gives you anxiety and you would rather just avoid it all together.
Sex may have dwindled from what it used to be in your long term relationship, and you and your partner(s) are wanting to find ways to reconnect.
Sex may be or has become physically painful and you have fallen into a pattern of avoidance due to the fear of experiencing pain each time.
Maybe you are having problems with your anatomy, such as erectile dysfunction or problems reaching orgasm, and this has caused a lack of self-confidence as well as conflict in relationships.
You may have some insecurities about your body, your identities, or your own sexual history that are impeding on you being able to find fulfillment in yourself and your intimate relationships.
Maybe the dating scene has been a struggle and you need some help navigating sex, dating, and hookup culture.
Perhaps exploring polyamory, Kink, and/or BDSM is something you have been interested in and you are seeking community and non-judgmental guidance.
You may have sexual preferences or behaviors that you are uncomfortable with and ashamed of, leaving you feeling hopeless and not ‘normal.’
Maybe you learned growing up that sex in general is shameful or something to be avoided until marriage and these beliefs have made creating intimate relationships difficult.
Sex may have become a form of abuse in past relationships and you are struggling to work through the trauma of the past that is now affecting your ability to feel like a sexual being or be sexual with a partner or partners.
Whatever you are experiencing… you deserve to have the sex and intimacy you desire.
You deserve to experience pleasure and satisfaction without pain, anxiety, or shame.
You deserve to know that you are NORMAL!
Let’s Look To the Future
Imagine being able to confidently approach sex within yourself and with a partner or partners.
Imagine having a healthy sexual relationship where you feel comfortable asking for what you want and need and giving your partner the same in return.
Imagine feeling confident in your sexual preferences or identities and knowing that you can find the right partner(s) for you.
Imagine being able to work through the anxieties and shame around sex to have a more fulfilling sex life.
Imagine experiencing pleasure instead of pain during sex and getting to enjoy the sensations of pleasure in your body.
Imagine having that deep sexual connection with your partner again that you thought you had lost long ago.
This is all possible!
How Does Sex Therapy Work?
As a therapist who focuses on sex and sexual health, I work with couples, individuals, and people in all different types of relationship structures, focusing on the physical relationship and how that can help improve all the other aspects of your relationship with your partner(s) and yourself.
I often begin by helping each person tell the story of their own sexual history and what their thoughts and beliefs are around sex and sexuality. We then will discuss how this sexual history could have progressed into the problems you are currently facing.
From there, we will work together on achieving your specific goals through shifting mindsets, discussing how society and the culture you grew up in portrayed sex, how relationship dynamics may be influencing your sex life, increasing self-confidence, body exploration, exploration of identity, exercises to help you decrease pain or find new ways to experience pleasure, exercises to manage anxiety during sex, etc.
I want to help my clients paint the picture of what their ideal sex life would look like, and then use tools and skills to get you to that desired point.
Specific Goals That May Be Achieved
Learning to eliminate or relax distractions during sex
Learning to communicate what you would like in a positive way
Learning non-demand or non-sexual touching
Learn new ways of experiencing pleasure
Explore fantasies and learn to accept your preferences
Explore sex and gender identities
Reconciling your past with the present
Learning what you want in a sexual relationship
Navigating the dating world and hookups
Decreasing pressure, stress, and anxiety around sex
Increasing or enhancing sexual stimulation
Learning about anatomy and how to use it to the fullest capabilities
Learning consent and the importance of an enthusiastic YES! and NO!
Minimizing pain during intercourse or any other type of sexual touch
Decreasing shame and guilt
Learning that you and your partner(s) are NORMAL!!!!
Questions You May Have
Is talking about sex with a therapist awkward?
Yes, talking about sex with anyone can be awkward, especially with a professional you are just getting to know. However, I am extremely sex positive and I am all for people having the sex life they desire. As long as it is consensual, there is nothing that is off limits. Plus, part of the fun of our work together is getting everything out in the open and for you to see that talking about penises and vaginas is not so scary after all!
Do you do Sex Addiction Therapy?
NO I do not! The training I have received that meets the criteria to become a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) holds the belief that sex addiction is not an accurate depiction of someone who feels out of control in their sexual behavior. Being sex positive, this profession and organization treats what we call Out of Control Sexual Behavior by exploring this behavior further with our clients in a non-judgmental way and often attempting to decrease the shame and stigma associated with such behaviors until they feel more acceptable, manageable, and in line with that person’s values.
Sex Addiction Therapy dictates what is ‘normal’ sexual behavior and what is ‘not-normal.’ If a client falls in the category of ‘not-normal,’ they are treated as if they have any other addiction and must go through a period of abstaining from all sexual pleasure, especially the problematic behavior. Then the client is sometimes taught how to re-engage in ‘normal’ sexual behavior with a partner and sometimes is not taught anything other than resisting urges and abstaining from whatever behavior is labeled ‘deviant’.
This is NOT sex positivity. Even if I do not personally engage in a specific sexual behavior, I have no place to tell someone what is ‘normal’ or ‘not-normal’ for their own sexual experience and pleasure, again as long as everything is consensual. I fully support people being free to explore themselves and their relationships and test the limits of what we have been taught is ‘normal.’
Do you work with relationships that involve Non-Consensual Acts?
No! Any type of abuse (physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, financial, etc.) is not tolerated in the therapeutic setting and therapy will not work when there is a sever power imbalance like this in a relationship. If you are an individual who is afraid in a relationship due to abuse, please contact me as an individual and I would be happy to support you.
Do you work with people who are in a relationship with more than one person?
Yes! I really enjoy working with people who are in polyamorous relationships or are contemplating polyamory. I think monogamy and polyamory are just different ways of doing relationships and it's about finding the right fit for you. To do either of them well, also takes many of the same skills in communication, vulnerability, and boundaries. Monogamy is the default in society and it works great for some and not great for others or can serve us in one time in our life and not serve us in others. I am a judgement free zone when it comes to different relationship structures, again as long as it is consensual with everyone involved.
Are you Kink and BDSM friendly?
Yes! The main criteria I have for clients is to be honest with themselves and their partner(s) about what they need, want, and desire and to have consent. The rest is up to you!
Are you queer/ LGBTQIA+ friendly?
Yes! No matter your identity, sex is an important part of life for all of us. Even for those who identify as asexual, this can still be tricky to navigate in relationships. I am open and here for you no matter who you are or what you identify as, label or no label.
Is having sex in front of you or getting coached while having sex part of the process?
That is a hard NO! There are professionals out there that can provide a more hands on approach but my work is strictly talk based. Though we can definitely get into the nitty gritty in our conversations, there is no sexual contact that happens in our work together.
Are you ready to start the journey back to CONNECTION, PLEASURE, and AWESOME SEX?
Are you ready to feel confident in your sexuality and know how to ask for what you want?
Learn new possibilities for your sex life then maybe you even imagined?
If you would like to schedule a FREE 15 minute video consultation to talk about how I can help you achieve the life you deserve and desire, please fill out the contact form on this page or you can click the button bellow and fill out the form on my contact page.
I look forward to speaking with you and seeing if we would be a good fit to work together.