NO I do not! The training I have received that meets the criteria to become a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) holds the belief that sex addiction is not an accurate depiction of someone who feels out of control in their sexual behavior. Being sex positive, this profession and organization treats what we call Out of Control Sexual Behavior by exploring this behavior further with our clients in a non-judgmental way and often attempting to decrease the shame and stigma associated with such behaviors until they feel more acceptable, manageable, and in line with that person’s values.

Sex Addiction Therapy dictates what is ‘normal’ sexual behavior and what is ‘not-normal.’ If a client falls in the category of ‘not-normal,’ they are treated as if they have any other addiction and must go through a period of abstaining from all sexual pleasure, especially the problematic behavior. Then the client is sometimes taught how to re-engage in ‘normal’ sexual behavior with a partner and sometimes is not taught anything other than resisting urges and abstaining from whatever behavior is labeled ‘deviant’.

This is NOT sex positivity. Even if I do not personally engage in a specific sexual behavior, I have no place to tell someone what is ‘normal’ or ‘not-normal’ for their own sexual experience and pleasure, again as long as everything is consensual. I fully support people being free to explore themselves and their relationships and test the limits of what we have been taught is ‘normal.’

 Yes, absolutely! It is extremely beneficial for you to do your own work around how you communicate and what may be some of your barriers that impact the relationship. Because I am a systems therapist, I believe that when one part of the system starts to shift, the rest of the system begins to shift around it as well. In other words, if you start to do the work yourself, chances are your partner is going to notice and start to respond to you differently than before. I do let clients know though that sometimes individual work can only go so far when talking about relationships. I make it known to clients that I can only speculate or hypothesize around what their partner(s) may be thinking or where they may be coming from. I recommend couples counseling to clients in addition to their individual work when I believe it is appropriate.

No. I do not have the specific training to work with individuals who seek out non-consensual acts of any kind. I will have to refer you to someone with this specific type of expertise.

Yes! I really enjoy working with people who are in polyamorous relationships or are contemplating polyamory.

I think monogamy and polyamory are just different ways of doing relationships and it's about finding the right fit for you. To do either of them well, also takes many of the same skills in communication, vulnerability, and boundaries.

Monogamy is the default in society and it works great for some and not great for others or can serve us in one time in our life and not serve us in others. I am a judgement free zone when it comes to different relationship structures, again as long as it is consensual with everyone involved.

Yes! The main criteria I have for clients is to be honest with themselves and their partner(s) about what they need, want, and desire and to have consent. The rest is up to you!

Yes! No matter your identity, sex is an important part of life for all of us. Even for those who identify as asexual, this can still be tricky to navigate in yourself and in relationships. I am open and here for you no matter who you are or what you identify as, label or no label.

That is a hard NO! There are professionals out there that can provide a more hands on approach but my work is strictly talk based. Though we can definitely get into the nitty gritty in our conversations, there is no sexual contact that happens in our work together.